The Custodian of Creation: Fixing the Universe, One Tear at a Time
Bob’s got duct tape—what’s your superpower?
When a supernova tears apart the fabric of space, Bob is the one called in to fix it. But with cosmic beauty, quirky tools, and a dash of divine bureaucracy, nothing is as simple as it seems. Get ready for a celestial adventure full of humor, heart, and interstellar repairs in The Custodian of Creation: A Universe in Repair
The Custodian of Creation: Fixing the Universe One Tear at a Time
By Glory Fink
“Hannah, you can come out now,” Bob announced, but stepping out from under his duster coat into a supernova was not exactly what I expected. The stars didn’t just sparkle — they undulated. And that’s just the start of it.
I was underneath Bob’s duster coat, my arms wrapped around his waist like you might do when riding on a motorcycle. Bob said we were heading out to a repair job in a supernova, which seemed too fantastical to imagine. I carefully crab-walked around Bob while staying under his coat until we were belly to belly.
I looked up at Bob and asked him, “Is it safe?”
Bob contemplated for a moment and tilted his head slowly from side to side. “Safe is subjective. I’ve prepared the area so you can breathe and walk around. It’ll feel like you’re standing on a boat at sea or perhaps a water-filled mattress.”
That’s when I immediately peeked down at my feet to see what the surface I was standing on looked like. Y’all, it looked just like what a supernova is supposed to look like. We were on the edge of a slowly exploding star, but there appeared to be a translucent film that gently undulated under our feet. I turned around under the coat and unbuttoned it so I could walk around. I stepped out a few paces and looked around. Bob got to work on a tear behind where he was standing. I watched him make a sort of splint using the roll of duct tape Pierre had given him to pull the tear back together. Then, Bob used the eraser on his pencil to seal the tear entirely.
“Bob, why did Pierre give you that roll of duct tape? Is it forbidden to use or something?” I asked him.
“Oh, it’s not forbidden. In fact, The Almighty gave me my first set of all the tools I use. Well, most of them. I just… the bureaucracy in Heaven is a bit… wacky. I suppose. They’ve struggled to cope with The Lord’s absence, and sometimes it’s just easier to get my consumables from Pierre and their family than petition The Silver City,” Bob responded.
I let my mind meditate on this new knowledge while my eyes feasted on the interdimensional majestic beauty we were within. To me, it looked like if Lisa Frank had started working at NASA. The only thing missing was rainbow dolphins or unicorns prancing through space.
“So, Bob, are these tears regularly occurring, or is this tear due to the star exploding?” I asked him.
“Hmmm, microtears happen fairly regularly. Our universe isn’t quite as elastic as it ideally would need to be, so these tears sometimes occur when there’s a little too much force in one direction and not quite enough slack from the other side. And also, this is not a young universe; it’s perhaps more prone to tears than it used to be. Atrophy is a force of nature, after all,” Bob replied.
“That seems like a lot of work. Is it difficult keeping up?”
“Well, it used to keep me fairly busy until I created my nano golems. Now they do most of the repair work. I just like to do the jobs like this when it happens in such a spacious place of beauty, and it helps me feel like I’m still fulfilling my original purpose and not simply relying on delegation. Also, I enjoy being in this beautiful place and hanging out with my nanos,” Bob told me.
This gave me pause. “Bob, what’s a nano golem? Is a tiny robot meeting us here?”
Bob smiled back at me and gestured around. “The nanos are all around us, Hannah. Nanos, please greet Hannah.”
Suddenly, a million tiny lights blinked in various slow patterns, like a dance floor in a starry club, and I realized the nanos had formed a bubble around us to breathe and walk around inside this dangerous (to my tender flesh, anyway) supernova. Bob waved his hand around in the middle of the air, and a softball-sized sphere of glowing nanos with a comet trail followed his hand’s movements.
“Wow!” I exclaimed. “That’s so cool!”
Bob bowed, with some of the nanos still in the sphere, and said, “Hannah, may I introduce you to my nanos? Nanos, this is Hannah. I’m helping Hannah on her current adventure.”
“Hello, Nanos. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I said.
Then I heard a buzzing sound say, “Hello, Hannah.”
I was so surprised I gasped. “Whoa! Was that The Nanos?! They sound like bees buzzing?”
Bob nodded and released the sphere of nanos, who just dispersed back into the bubble’s shell. “They don’t get many opportunities to show off, so I thought you wouldn’t mind,” Bob told me.
“Oh, I love your babies! They’re amazing!” I gushed to Bob, and he beamed back at me. I could tell he was happy I loved them like he does.
Then Bob told me this story:
“When The Creator was done creating Gabriel, Michael, and Lucifer, the angels quickly realized that while they all had very important jobs, like running the universe, they were also very good at making messes. But no one was good at cleaning up those messes. So, that little band of archangels went to The Most Eternal One and asked for there to be created an angel who could clean up any mess in the universe.
“The Most Glorious One made me the first custodial angel. They named me ‘Bob.’ I guess The Lord had already used up all the fancy names. Then, when The Omnipotent One told me about why I was made, I asked about equipment to clean and to let them know that whatever I deem that I needed, it would be created just for me and the beings I choose to train to assist me. On my first day—and remember that back then the first day lasted a few thousand of your modern years, I asked for and was given a pencil with a big eraser, sticky paper that will stick or stay on anything I command it to, a bucket and mop, a broom, a dustbin, a strong cleaner, a gentle cleanser, absorbent towels, protective safety gear and clothing, warning cones and signs, and a rubbish bin. But The Almighty gave me a very obedient and friendly tiny black hole instead. Later, Gabriel gave me a special key that will open all locks in the universe, so I didn’t have to keep asking for help when a mess developed in one of the labs or workshops.”
This story got me wondering, “Bob, with you being the first and looks like the main angel in charge of cleaning up, have you ever felt burned out? Do you get vacation days?” I asked him.
Bob paused and considered this, then told me, “Since I’ve always been in charge of cleaning and repair, I have the freedom to work at my own pace that suits me. So, I have plenty of opportunities to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of Creation, as you might have noticed from our journeys together thus far. Also, I’m very familiar with my purpose and can see constantly how important what I do is in order to keep this universe habitable for all its lifeforms. But there is a place on Earth where beings who are struggling with a loss of purpose, sensations similar to human burnout, or grief over missing The All-Healing One congregate and commiserate. I can take you there, if you’d like to visit it.”
I got so excited. “Yes, please! Take me to where the suffering, afflicted angels go. Hashem can wait!”
Bob laughed at my response and then said, “Well, by now you know the drill—get behind me under my coat and hold onto my waist so you don’t get lost.”
Dear readers, that is exactly what I did!
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